the best news i heard today

apparently.... australians are fatter than americans. i know that doesn't mean too much to anyone else, but when i read this article, i laughed out loud and it sounded kind of evil because of all the fun i'm going to have with it. you see, i get all sorts of shit over here for americans being fat. from everyone, even fat people. i've even told people i'm starting to develop an eating disorder because of it, and they don't care at all. but now, equipped with that article and also this one, plus the sign over the waterless non-flushable urinal trough at work warning that australians consume the most water per capita in the world, i am now immune to all of the usual dumb comments that these stupid, drunk, kangaroo-riding, foster's-drinking, didgeridoo-playing, boomerang-throwing convicts make at least once or twice a month.